Sometimes I scare myself

With the twisted workings of my mind

The unconscious movement of my hands

That pull the laces of my sweatshirt hood tight around my neck

And suddenly I’m wondering yet again about death

Last night I took that leap
Across the vast chasm of uncertainty
That exists in the abyss of cyberspace
Between our two computer screens
When I typed those words
And paused…
Before hitting enter
Tethered by a thin silver chain
Twisted through my fingers
Tangled in my hair
A thread of hope
That maybe you’d feel this connection too
And transform silver into steel
I lay down to sleep
And found a restless night instead
And a missing link, a broken chain
Upon my waking

I am an orange.

A soft shell filled with juicy innards

And Vitamin C.

Peel me.

Grasp me with one hand and insert your fingernail into my bright cover.

I may bite ack

Spraying you wish a zesty, acidic fragrance

Or seeping into an unseen papercut

But have no fear

I will succumb eventually.

After all, my ultimate goal is to be consumed.

Break off the pieces

Which you trace and carve with the end of you finger

Section by jagged section

Revealing only bits, until you discover my true flesh, completely unshelled.

Don’t pierce. My skin

Pull gently. On the shell.

Don’t attack. My heart.

Just peel. The orange.

The dull achy sensation which constantly resides in my skull

Periodically escapes its prison

And rides the pull of gravity

Until it reaches my stomach

Where it suddenly sprouts fingers

And ties my intestines into knots

Then pulls the ends so tight

That bottled comments and swallowed anxieties

Dislodge themselves and rise in my throat

Until they spill out of my mouth

In disconnected chunks

Smashed by chomping molars

And continuously spew into the air

Until all that’s left is the bitter aftertaste on my tongue

Of word vomit and tears.

I aspire

to inspire

you.

Inspire me to look beyond the veil of everyday smog.

Urge me to enjoy the unexpected and to rejoice in the tiniest miracles.

Help me revel in the beauty of sunshine in the early morning.

Teach me to taste the pallet of colors that smear the sky when the sun sets.

In spite of the pain you once caused me, let the love you once gave me inspire me always and forever.

In spite of yourself, inspire me.

I want to move you

Like my fingers move a pen across a page

I want to fill your heart

Like my words fill this sheet

I want you to share my emotions

Like I share yours

I’m not one to fall in love but when I looked into your eyes,

I fell into a vortex of colors like the sea after a storm flecked with the foliage of a tropical jungle

And I have yet to escape.

I’m not one to fall in love but when I first encountered your sincere smile,

The light of your pearly whites melted my heart and even though I stuck it in the freezer,

It has yet to regain solid form.

I’m not one to fall in love but

Somehow, I did.

ellinava:

All I ask
Is recognition
Of the thoughts
Teeming underneath
Caked only in vowels
And guarded by consonants

describe in detail

interlocking pink ridges

filling the cracks of loneliness

which perforate these lips

with sweet passion